Flash back…
Today was a bit of an emotional day for me.
This morning I woke up and did the usual routine. Shower, dress, breakfast then checked the mail. As soon as I got inside, there was a buzz from the front gate. Turned out I had a parcel. I always get excited when I get parcels so I quickly went down stairs and signed for it.
It was quite a large box and I couldn’t wait to open it. Once it was opened, on top of the pile was a note on pink paper. “Hope you like all these bits and peices babe, see you when I get there. Love Mum”. The next few items I noticed was a small scarf and soft teddy bear, beside it was a jolly jumper and a baby blanket. Under the blanket was an old photo album with my name written on it with Felt Pen. I could remember this photo album from years ago and thought it would be nice to go through it later on.
I put the baby things away and carried on going through the box. The next thing I found was a photo frame with a picture of myself, mum, dad, Hunter and Nadia. I’d never had a family photo of us all together so this definitely brought a tear to my eye. It was taken on the only family holiday we went on. We were at the top of the Auckland Sky Tower. The rest of the stuff were some clothes of Nadia’s that she’d left behind while she was there for Christmas.
Later in the afternoon, Dean came home for lunch so we decided to go through the photo album together. There photos from after my birth, my birthdays, sport games, school awards, the holiday, random times and a few sad times. As I got furher through the album.. thing’s got sad. The album was in order of age. So it went right through the times of my parents divorce. I could tell because one minute I was 7 years old, the next I was 13. There were some photos of when I moved to Wellington for 6 months when I was 12 or 13. I was anorexic from being influenced by sport and crazy healthy eating. My dad was busy working and I hated sharon, so they couldn’t do alot to help me… as much as they tried. So once I was better, I was able to move back to Christhchurch to carry on with the rest of my rebelious ways that weren’t expected.
I cried the whole time I looked at the later photos. Dean never asked what the story was behind the photo, so if I felt the need to, I told him. But tonight while we were eating dinner, he asked if he could know the storys. So for the next few hours, I told him everything. Some of it he knew, some of it he didn’t.
At the end of the day, it was good to reflect on my past that I have only just begun to think about. For ages, I have been ignoring all the bad things that have happened and all the crap I caused. I really think this blog might help in some good way :)
